Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Putting it All into Work
I've been through a lot in the last few years. I've dealt with several deaths, including my maternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather and my paternal great-grandmother. Then my last surviving grandparent, my paternal grandmother, was diagnosed with cancer. I was also dealing with my mother's mental illness. Trying to be the parent to your parent is very difficult.
I put everything I had into my job. I worked constantly. I often volunteered to work late night and weekend events. I would do anything to not remind myself of what was going on at home. Because of my work schedule, my dating life and keeping in touch with friends was virtually non-existent. But it really didn't bother me, because I had something that was keeping me busy and completing projects made me feel good about myself.
However, when things started changing at work, I started getting depressed. The best supervisor I ever had left the company. My new boss didn't understand when I told her I needed to stop working overtime in order to take care of some family stuff. I wasn't asking to take half days or comp time that I had most likely earned. I was just asking to leave at 5 pm instead of staying well after 7 pm. And to cut back on weekend events so I could spend time with my grandmother whose cancer had progressed and we were told she only had six months to live.
No matter how much I had used work to escape some of the problems in my life, it was no way to deal with the problems. I learned that if you rely on something to not deal with what is really going on, that thing may break down. If that happens, it may feel as if your whole world is breaking down. Keep balance in your life because leaning on one thing to forget about other problems will make you fall down.
Friday, July 30, 2010
We Have a Facebook Page?
There are several companies, organizations and even people that may not know they have a Facebook or Twitter account. For those that are aware of social media being done on their behalf, do you really know who is controlling the page and what they are saying to your customers?
I believe that social media pages can be a good way to get to know your customers, raise brand awareness and increase sales. However be sure to follow these rules when creating any social media account (Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc.):
I believe that social media pages can be a good way to get to know your customers, raise brand awareness and increase sales. However be sure to follow these rules when creating any social media account (Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, etc.):
What Happened to Courting?
Back in the day, my great-grandmother talked to me about how my grandfather courted her. He picked her up from her home. Spoke with her parents. Brought flowers or other gifts. They sat in the parlor and talked for hours.
Most men nowadays don’t even bother. Many think a horn honk outside is just as good as coming to the door. Men barely give gifts, unless it’s a special occasion, and that’s usually only if you have been dating a while. I know some guys that break up around Thanksgiving, just to get back together after New Year’s so they don’t have to buy holiday gifts.
But I wonder why men changed? Was it the technology? Did the telephone, movies and television make one-on-one conversations unnecessary. What about the feminist movement? Women trying to be equal to men and saying they can open their own doors, pay for their own meals. Did we make men feel like we didn’t need them?
I want a guy that opens doors for me, calls me just to say “I’m thinking about you”, and brings me flowers just because. Though I like a guy that asks where or what I want to do, I also want a guy to make some decisions. Don’t always ask me, you choose something. Show me what you like to do. Don’t ask me out and then expect me to call you on the night of the date. And be considerate. I’m tired of guys that want to take you out after 10 p.m. I think a guy is only thinking of one thing at that time of night.
So can anyone tell me where the men are that still act like gentlemen? And preferably men in my age bracket.
Most men nowadays don’t even bother. Many think a horn honk outside is just as good as coming to the door. Men barely give gifts, unless it’s a special occasion, and that’s usually only if you have been dating a while. I know some guys that break up around Thanksgiving, just to get back together after New Year’s so they don’t have to buy holiday gifts.
But I wonder why men changed? Was it the technology? Did the telephone, movies and television make one-on-one conversations unnecessary. What about the feminist movement? Women trying to be equal to men and saying they can open their own doors, pay for their own meals. Did we make men feel like we didn’t need them?
I want a guy that opens doors for me, calls me just to say “I’m thinking about you”, and brings me flowers just because. Though I like a guy that asks where or what I want to do, I also want a guy to make some decisions. Don’t always ask me, you choose something. Show me what you like to do. Don’t ask me out and then expect me to call you on the night of the date. And be considerate. I’m tired of guys that want to take you out after 10 p.m. I think a guy is only thinking of one thing at that time of night.
So can anyone tell me where the men are that still act like gentlemen? And preferably men in my age bracket.
Daddy Issues
I’ll be 30 soon and already feel much older. I’ve usually dated older men, usually because I have more in common with them. The most I’ve gone dating a guy that was 14 years my senior (see My First Online Relationship for details). So I already know what it’s like. What I can’t understand about online dating is all the guys that are 45 and older asking me to go out.
I actually plainly stated on my profile that I wasn’t looking for anyone over 39. Since I know I want a family one day, I don’t really want to waste my time on older guys that have kids my age. I’ve had guys 50 plus asking me out. Sorry, but that is older than my dad! My dad and I are really close and I have no daddy issues.
So I’ve taken the route of not even answering these guys. I don’t feel that I’m being rude, because it’s clearly stated on my profile. I’d prefer to meet a guy my age. But there honestly doesn’t seem to be that many good ones out there that are single, have a job and straight. Doesn’t seem like my standards are that high!
I actually plainly stated on my profile that I wasn’t looking for anyone over 39. Since I know I want a family one day, I don’t really want to waste my time on older guys that have kids my age. I’ve had guys 50 plus asking me out. Sorry, but that is older than my dad! My dad and I are really close and I have no daddy issues.
So I’ve taken the route of not even answering these guys. I don’t feel that I’m being rude, because it’s clearly stated on my profile. I’d prefer to meet a guy my age. But there honestly doesn’t seem to be that many good ones out there that are single, have a job and straight. Doesn’t seem like my standards are that high!
My First Online Relationship
I’ve done the online dating thing before. In fact, years ago before it was very popular. I found it was a great way to weed out some of the guys. A way to get to know someone before you actually went out (cause blind dates suck!). I actually find a really nice guy and we dated for a few years.
Though me and this person had a lot in common, he was several years older than me. Fourteen to be exact, but I think of myself as an old soul. We had fun going out and even staying at home. But as the years passed, it was time to think about where the relationship was headed.
Being older than me, he had already lived a full life, I was just 22 when we met. But often that was what I liked about him. He understood me starting a career, trying to buy a house and a lot of other things that guys my age weren’t doing. He was very encouraging. But after four years I wondered where we were headed.
I soon began to realize it would go nowhere. He had already been married and had children in high school. And made it very clear that he didn’t want anymore children when he had a vasectomy. So even though I cared about this guy a lot, I realized that it would not be the future that I imagined. The wedding, children, family vacations would all be things I would never get from him.
So after tons of talking, we ended things. We’re still friends, but realized that we were in two different places in our lives. So now I am out there online dating once again. Hoping to find a guy that shares my values and wants the things that I want.
Though me and this person had a lot in common, he was several years older than me. Fourteen to be exact, but I think of myself as an old soul. We had fun going out and even staying at home. But as the years passed, it was time to think about where the relationship was headed.
Being older than me, he had already lived a full life, I was just 22 when we met. But often that was what I liked about him. He understood me starting a career, trying to buy a house and a lot of other things that guys my age weren’t doing. He was very encouraging. But after four years I wondered where we were headed.
I soon began to realize it would go nowhere. He had already been married and had children in high school. And made it very clear that he didn’t want anymore children when he had a vasectomy. So even though I cared about this guy a lot, I realized that it would not be the future that I imagined. The wedding, children, family vacations would all be things I would never get from him.
So after tons of talking, we ended things. We’re still friends, but realized that we were in two different places in our lives. So now I am out there online dating once again. Hoping to find a guy that shares my values and wants the things that I want.
Only an Expert on Me
So as a person that creates social media campaigns for other people and businesses, I know I need to create a strategic plan for myself. I’ve seen Hajj Flemings speak several times about “personal branding”. Other conferences have said that you should use your blog and Twitter to express on what subject matter you are an expert. Well I honestly don’t have much that I think people would have an interest.
I could talk about work, but honestly talking about news trends, social media and healthcare isn’t that fun when you do it all day. Besides there are people much more versed in these subjects than me.
I love social media, but I can’t tell anyone on Twitter how to make their tweets more effective. The people that I follow are already great (so check out some of the people I follow).
So on what subjects am I an expert? I sometimes ask myself that question everyday. But these are the things that I have concluded I know most about:
I could talk about work, but honestly talking about news trends, social media and healthcare isn’t that fun when you do it all day. Besides there are people much more versed in these subjects than me.
I love social media, but I can’t tell anyone on Twitter how to make their tweets more effective. The people that I follow are already great (so check out some of the people I follow).
So on what subjects am I an expert? I sometimes ask myself that question everyday. But these are the things that I have concluded I know most about:
- Single and almost 30
- Living in Detroit
- Looking for a new job in this economy
- Media: I love TV, movies, music, reading and the internet
The Weight of it All
It’s much easier to gain weight than to lose it. Over the last six years I’ve gained a lot of weight. It was so gradual, I barely noticed. Until each time I went shopping I was buying a bigger size. At first I blamed clothing manufacturers, saying they must be shrinking the sizes.
In five years I went from a size 8 to a 14/16. I could no longer blame the clothes, it was all my fault. I was no longer hitting the gym. I had a job, that when I wasn’t chained to my desk, I was eating unhealthy foods at an event, or leaving work late and just grabbing fast food (oh, the joys of working in PR).
If my lack of exercise and diet wasn’t getting the best of me, I found out some health problems were adding to my weight as well. I have an under active thyroid that slows down metabolism. I made it even worse by only eating once or twice a day. I am also on the birth control shot which is proven to make you gain weight.
So finally, I’m getting my act together and working on getting back in shape. And not because I want to look good, but for my health. Being overweight makes you more at risk for diabetes, stroke, heart attacks and many other things. Plus I don’t have the energy that I used to have.
I really can’t afford a gym right now (and know I won’t go if I have a membership), but its not stopping me. I go for a run or walk every morning. And if weather is bad I go to the mall to walk with the seniors. I’m using my exercise ball, hand weights and resistance bands to tone up as well. Do an internet search, you can find a lot of at home exercises to do. Here’s my favorite core exercises for the fitness ball.
I’m also changing my eating habits. I’m not dieting because that doesn’t last. Its about making lifetime changes. Also not depriving my self of some of my favorites like ice cream, but eating in moderation. Thanks Edy’s for the single serve, low fat ice cream cups, now I don’t have a half gallon sitting in the freezer and trying to eat it all before it gets freezer burned.
I’m realistic and know that the weight won’t come off as quickly as I gained it, unless you’re on the Biggest Loser. But by the end of the year, I will be healthier. And one day I’ll be back to a size 8 or less. I just have to keep it going, no matter what.
In five years I went from a size 8 to a 14/16. I could no longer blame the clothes, it was all my fault. I was no longer hitting the gym. I had a job, that when I wasn’t chained to my desk, I was eating unhealthy foods at an event, or leaving work late and just grabbing fast food (oh, the joys of working in PR).
If my lack of exercise and diet wasn’t getting the best of me, I found out some health problems were adding to my weight as well. I have an under active thyroid that slows down metabolism. I made it even worse by only eating once or twice a day. I am also on the birth control shot which is proven to make you gain weight.
So finally, I’m getting my act together and working on getting back in shape. And not because I want to look good, but for my health. Being overweight makes you more at risk for diabetes, stroke, heart attacks and many other things. Plus I don’t have the energy that I used to have.
I really can’t afford a gym right now (and know I won’t go if I have a membership), but its not stopping me. I go for a run or walk every morning. And if weather is bad I go to the mall to walk with the seniors. I’m using my exercise ball, hand weights and resistance bands to tone up as well. Do an internet search, you can find a lot of at home exercises to do. Here’s my favorite core exercises for the fitness ball.
I’m also changing my eating habits. I’m not dieting because that doesn’t last. Its about making lifetime changes. Also not depriving my self of some of my favorites like ice cream, but eating in moderation. Thanks Edy’s for the single serve, low fat ice cream cups, now I don’t have a half gallon sitting in the freezer and trying to eat it all before it gets freezer burned.
I’m realistic and know that the weight won’t come off as quickly as I gained it, unless you’re on the Biggest Loser. But by the end of the year, I will be healthier. And one day I’ll be back to a size 8 or less. I just have to keep it going, no matter what.
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