Putting it All into Work

I've been through a lot in the last few years. I've dealt with several deaths, including my maternal grandmother, my maternal grandfather and my paternal great-grandmother. Then my last surviving grandparent, my paternal grandmother, was diagnosed with cancer. I was also dealing with my mother's mental illness. Trying to be the parent to your parent is very difficult. 

I put everything I had into my job. I worked constantly. I often volunteered to work late night and weekend events. I would do anything to not remind myself of what was going on at home. Because of my work schedule, my dating life and keeping in touch with friends was virtually non-existent. But it really didn't bother me, because I had something that was keeping me busy and completing projects made me feel good about myself.

However, when things started changing at work, I started getting depressed. The best supervisor I ever had left the company. My new boss didn't understand when I told her I needed to stop working overtime in order to take care of some family stuff. I wasn't asking to take half days or comp time that I had most likely earned. I was just asking to leave at 5 pm instead of staying well after 7 pm. And to cut back on weekend events so I could spend time with my grandmother whose cancer had progressed and we were told she only had six months to live.

No matter how much I had used work to escape some of the problems in my life, it was no way to deal with the problems. I learned that if you rely on something to not deal with what is really going on, that thing may break down. If that happens, it may feel as if your whole world is breaking down. Keep balance in your life because leaning on one thing to forget about other problems will make you fall down.